


If only you could see what I see ;

by frogsandrosbifs



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Autism Spectrum, Gen, all your faves are autistic, autism headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-12 02:56:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2093007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frogsandrosbifs/pseuds/frogsandrosbifs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A serie of drabbles about my favourite autistic charaters in Harry Potter. Title refer to Luna and her wish to have people see the world her way, but it is a mutual feeling for everyone. </p><p>I only wrote about Neville and Luna for now but I hope to add more, I think the fic will be updated through time.</p><p>Hope you will enjoy this !</p>
            </blockquote>





	If only you could see what I see ;

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ftchocoholic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ftchocoholic/gifts).



They always say her father is so much like her, but back then, they said that about her mother. She was beautiful, her mother.

Her mother, her father, and her ; their house, it was the most beautiful chaos. It was like a nest, and it was not _real_ chaos ; everything had a place, and everything had a purpose, and even if it looked messy, it was not.

When her mother was still alive, every sunday night, her father would cast charms that made pretty lights. Then, they would sit and watch. Sometimes Luna waved her hands in front of her face, or she would get up and run after the sparkles, jump, bounce, try to catch them. Often, her mother would follow, and they would run around in a thunder of laughter and happiness as her father surrounded them with sparkly lights and waves of blue, red, green, purple... When they were particularly excited, he even casted his patronus, and the silver hare would join them. Sparkles, explosions but without bad sounds... Her mother told her once that muggles had the same thing, but it was much bigger for they casted them in the sky, and it made very bad noises. They called them fireworks.

After a while, Luna would get tired and rub her eyes, for they started to hurt. That was when her dad sat her down to watch soft waves of blue and green as the ceiling turned into a perfect sky. They would vanish, slowly, until there was only the milky way above their heads – but very often, Luna was already asleep at that part, finally calmed and appeased by the soft blue lights.

 

***

 

It is great that they won the Quidditch match and all, and Neville really loves his house, but really, tonight he cannot stand the mess that his common room has turned into. Everyone is screaming and laughing, someone is blasting music and he completely snaps when Ron tries to pull him into the crowd to _party_ and he ends up pushing him away and running outside, out of breath.

Neville knows Ron will be confused but they are all confused about him anyway. He knows they don't listen when he speaks about this new plant he has found out about, but he can't help himself. Whenever he thinks about plants his mind races and he cannot help but smile. He tries to stop himself because he knows it bores them all, but he physically can't. The happiness it brings him is overwhelming and safe.

Herbology is his safe place. It makes sense, and plants are always the same. They do not change their minds all the time, they do not say strange things and they do not laugh at you. They are just there, ready to be cared for.

He likes learning about them, but he also likes to take care of them (except the mandragoras, but that is because their scream is incredibly loud, even with the earmuffs). The earth always has a nice, comforting smell, and he always picks his softest gloves, the ones who have a nice texture. His grandmother got them for his birthday. She says that herbology is pretty useless, but at least he is good at something.

She is wrong, his grandmother. They take care of plants for a reason – Mrs Pomfresh needs them for remedies.

_His parents might need remedies too._

It is still daylight ; so of course his steps lead him to the greenhouses as he tries to calm himself down and breathe. He can still feel the noise ringing in his ears, his skin crawling because of all the contact and the crowd, so much that he'd want to hit himself to stop it. He feels like screaming, but instead he runs.

Once he is safe inside, he curls up into a ball, covers his ears and close his eyes shut. It is delightfully silent here, so much that it only takes a few minutes for him to calm down.

Professor Sprout spots him later – she often does, but never sends him away, and always leaves him alone until she is sure he can speak to her. He is glad of it. Neville should be back to the common room now, she says, but once he explains that it is too noisy she just tells him to help with some work.

And so he does. As his exhaustion wears out they can chat a little ; and it is way past bedtime once she escorts him back to the castle and as he comes back to a silent common room.

 

***

 

When the sorting hat decides that she shall go in Ravenclaw, she is not surprised, for her mother was in this house. She has always said that there are several kinds of intelligence, and sometimes people have one but not the other. The Great Hall is too noisy for her, too crowded. Luna covers her ears when the Ravenclaws cheer for her and tries to sit where she won't be touched, but already she receives pats on the shoulders and she flaps her hands to erase the unwanted contact.

People look at her. She does not know why. She has always been alone before, has only occasionally met with cousins and the like, but they did not understand what she was talking about half the time. She has not been a lonely child, except when her mother left them. But her dad and her, they love each other, and she has the stories. Stories are her best friends, as well as legends which are not often legends but are often true. Most people disregards what is right in front of their nose because they only care about what they can see, but Luna knows there is a world that is just  _there_  but invisible.

There is beauty  _just there_  and no one sees it.

If people looked closely, they would notice the way the sun sparkles against the glass and reflects a rainbow on the tiles. They would see how magic is beautiful, it is visual and it is sounds and sometimes she can  _taste_  the incantations and see them in the air and Professor Mc Gonagall tells her to stop dreaming and pay attention --- and sometimes they also  _sound_  beautiful and then she has to put her wand down so she can repeat them and taste them in her mouth and make them roll off her tongue, again and again, just because  _they sound beautiful_.

She loves Wingardium Le **vio** sa because the sound matches the gesture and they flow together like harmony. In Flitwick's class, she is the first who succeeds at the spell, and she is so happy she almost falls off her seat from bouncing. She does not look down when students laugh.

They just do not see what she sees, and it almost makes her sad for them.

She is lonely, it is true, and she does not understand why they always laugh at her. She won't let anyone change her, though. She waits for someone who can see those things too, and who does not laugh.

 

When she meets Harry Potter near the Thestrals she thinks she may have found that person.


End file.
